This is frankly brilliant. A hands-free umbrella is perfect for walking to work while yapping on your phone with one hand and cradling a cup of coffee with the other. Unfortunately it’s just never going to make it past the “my friends will laugh at me” stage, because they will. They will laugh so very hard. It’s a cruel, backwards society we live in, and it’s no wonder we don’t have flying cars yet. That said, you can destroy your own fashion credibility today for a mere $59.99. Maybe the fanny pack types will accept you, but we can’t make any guarantees.